Why don’t great mornings always turn into great days?

On Great Mornings:

The hardest part of having a great morning for me is that it is fully impossible for me to be 100% effective the entire day.

When I have a great morning, it’s disappointing to hit a point of not being able to attain what i want to attain. I have a habit of just squandering the rest of the day.

It’s like being fully engaged deflates the rest of the day as soon as I hit one bump.

I ask the Lord that he would help me set better expectations for my life. I ask you for wisdom and discernment. I pray for your guidance.

Do you ever pray to a god you don’t believe in?

At R.T. Weiler’s for lunch after church, my friend prayed over our food as the words “Just prayed to a god that I don’t believe in” from the song “Break Even” flowed out of the speaker system.

My mind tried to listen to Julie praying and tune into the message I’ve felt God speaking to me for the past month: do I really believe in the God I pray to? I wasn’t successful in thinking about both and promised myself to think about this strange tension later. And now is later.

Now when I say that God’s been challenging me to consider whether I really believe in Him, I do not mean questioning the belief that our universe has a Creator. I mean God is asking me why I pray to Him for salvation and relief but don’t believe he will provide it. Seems like maybe I don’t believe Him–as fully as I should.

I young girl in Sunday School once asked me if it was possible to pray to a god you don’t believe in because she heard the lyrics of “Break Even.” I wasn’t prepared to answer her then, and even now, there’s part of me that’s scared to answer: no, it’s not possible to pray to the living God only when you’re in crisis and don’t expect Him to answer.

The real tensions in this question are caught up in the terms “pray,” “god,” and “believe”–they don’t have precise definitions. Yes, you can talk (out loud or in your head) as if you are praying to something outside of you but if you don’t expect anything to happen (like God to respond), it seems this is more of a thought exercise than an authentic prayer to a dynamic Almighty God. But the heart tension is how deep belief in the living God must be for our actions to reflect that belief in way leads to an anxiety free life.

How often do we turn to God when we hit the place where we are still alive but barely breathing? We expect that a good God would answer our prayers. Yet, are we just kind thinking in our heads it would be nice for our pain to go away or our we seeking to hear from a living God who says, “In returning (repenting, turning back) and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.’”

Are you prepared to change your ways?

Are you prepared to follow him without shouts of protest?

Will you be like Israel who was unwilling? (Isaiah 30:15 ESV)

This is what God is asking me: Ruth, when you pray are you prepared to listen and respond?

God would catch a Grenade for you.

Seriously.

Next time you hear Mars Bruno’s song “Grenade” think about how Jesus did “die for ya.”

Are you willing to do the same?

Are you willing to give all of yourself? give all of your love?

What part of your heart are you holding back?

What part of you is reluctant to “do the same”?

Next time you face temptation, let this song come to your mind. Consider how choosing sin makes you like the women who refuses to reflect the love Bruno wants to give to her.

When Christians choose sin it means rejecting the self-sacrificing love that Jesus embodied on the cross when the fullness of God’s wrath for all sin to be pour out upon Him.

God caught more than a Grenade for you.

Would you do the same for him?

–With all illustrations and analogies, they break down. There are lines in “Grenade” that do not reflect the gospel message. Nor is it perfect theology to say that “God caught a grenade for only you.” But I hope if you are familiar with the song, it might help you “see” God’s love for you in deeper dimension.

Talking with God

“My mind is utterly unable to create or maintain the spiritual life within me. The heart must wait on God for Him to work it in me.” Andrew Murray, Waiting on God.

What’s going on in my heart? do I even know?

“The people I know personally who cannot sit down and chill out for a while are people who have not really come to terms with their emotional, inner story. They’re staying a step ahead of it. I did that through my twenties and thirties. In my forties, I stopped working so hard for a bit and confronted a certain amount of stuff about myself. I think that one of the impetuses for working outrageously hard and traveling constantly and alway being on deadline is that your personality can’t catch up with you,” said author and filmmaker Sabastian Junder on covering war (without any prior experience) in an interview with Outside magazine.

When do I take time out to talk with God? Really share my hurts and heart with him?

What would it look like for me to be available to God? How would my schedule have to change?

Edited on Dec. 5, 2010

On Dreaming

While on vacation with Jesus two weeks ago, I’ve wrote resolutions to help guide my life.

Resolved, to make use of my greatest energies to connect with my Savior each day and remain vigilant against the sins I hold most dear.

Vigilant - from the Latin word Vigil, meaning ”awake”

“Lord, this day, and everyday, set my heart on remaining vigilant, awake to your goodness and all-sufficiency, awake to see the devastation possible from even the tiniest truce with sin in my life.”

On Dreaming By John Newton

1 When slumber seals our weary eyes,
The busy fancy wakeful keeps;
The scenes which then before us rise,
Prove something in us never sleeps.

2 As in another world we seem,
A new creation of our own,
All appears real, though a dream,
And all familiar, though unknown.

3 Sometimes the mind beholds again
The past day’s business in review,
Resumes the pleasure or the pain;
And sometimes all we meet is new.

4 What schemes we form, what pains we take!
We fight, we run, we fly, we fall;
But all is ended when we wake,
We scarcely then a trace recall.

5 But though our dreams are often wild,
Like clouds before the driving storm;
Yet some important may be styl’d,
Sent to admonish or inform.

6 What mighty agents have access,
What friends from heav’n, or foes from hell,
Our minds to comfort or distress,
When we are sleeping, who can tell?

7 One thing, at least, and ’tis enough,
We learn from this surprising fact;
Our dreams afford sufficient proof,
The soul, without the flesh, can act.

8 This life, which mortals so esteem,
That many choose it for their all,
They will confess, was but a dream (Isaiah 29:8)
When ‘waken’d by death’s awful call.

Curiosity Let Loose!

I shot this video yesterday out on a walk with Julia‘s dog, Chloe.

One of my goals in life is to become more curious! I think that humility must lead to curiosity because a curious heart ponders: what might God be doing in the lives of people around me? How is reflecting off of their lives? How might God be providing a deeply personal way for me to know Him better through those people he providential put in my life? What glimpse of God might someone else have that  if I could some how come to see what they see of God, my sense of knowing him would deepen.

Humility leads to curiosity because godly curiosity reflects a sense of expectance in discovering how our God operates in our present reality.

Strangely, humility also lends itself to allowing others to see more of us–the parts we don’t want to share. What part of me should I be sharing with others that will help them meet God in new ways?

Most of the time I only share the parts of me that are all “fixed up,” and beautiful–radiating a clear view of God’s goodness. When I do share ugly parts, it’s limited in scope. However, there are uncomfortably shameful parts of my life that also radiate God’s great mercy and grace, but I don’t often share this part of myself. I hide it.

By hiding places where God has granted great grace to me in my deepest struggles, am I preventing others from knowing God in deeper ways? I’m curious to know.

In what ways might I even be missing out because I stubbornly dig in my heals and say: “nope, God you’ve shined the light on this weakness, but that doesn’t mean others need to know about it!” I’m not talking about sharing my soul with the whole world in a everyone-look-at-me-and-my-lack-of-shame-for-sinful-and-reckless behavior. I’m talking about conversations with people God has providential put in my life who I’m afraid to let see how dreadfully struggle against the same woeful sins when the truth of that matter is: when sin comes to light, the radiance of God’s grace and mercy shines the brightest!

Watching the Sun Rise

I took myself a bit to seriously this morning (and especially during recording the audio for this video).

 

I got up early to see the sun rise over Lake Michigan after reading about Margaret Becker’s promise to herself to get up and watch the sunrise and sunset each day of her got-to-get-away-and-get-my-head-clear-and-priorities-straight vacation (that she recounts in her book Coming Up For Air).

 

 

However, instead of a sun rise, I found only a sky full of clouds blocking the sunrise! I laughed at myself for wanting some crazy intimate experience with God and how there was no way it would happen with these clouds in the way.

 

 

But then I noticed I could see the sun rise as it reflected off higher clouds and the water below. While I couldn’t see the sun, I could see its reflection, as if God were whispering to me: “Ruth, even if you can’t always see me, I’ve put people in your life who reflect my goodness and glory. You can know me by choosing to know and connect with people who reflect the radiance of my glory, wisdom, and light.”

 

 

Am I taking the time to enjoy and know the people God’s has placed in my life, his providential provision for me?

 

 

What expectations do I have for encountering God in my everyday life?

 

(I actually altered questions that Becker asks herself in her book to fit how I see life.)

Hello world—why I’ve decided to start a personal blog

My political musing are at http://ruthcarlson.blogspot.com.

I find that I write in primarily two areas: current politics and my faith. While these are intertwine in my life, they don’t really overlap for lots of people. I also think my political blog is being fed through the St. Louis Tea Party site, I’m not sure because I haven’t posted recently.

I do think it’s probably crazy to have two blogs since I’m not good at keeping up one, but hey, sometimes I do crazy things.

We see which one I’m most loyal to…